Current mood:	amused
Entry tags:	j2, rawr, rps

(Boy) Toy Story
Title: (Boy) Toy Story
Author: dea_liberty
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is FICTION. None of it's real.
Summary: A day in the life of Padarex and Ackleceratops.
A/N: Written for memphis86, who was having a bad day and needed cheering up (and who came up with the title). It's inspired by her and causeways's awesome Wasted on the Young, which you don't necessarily need to read to understand but should read anyway. Thanks to grayscaled and tesria for the beta.

Jensen squeaked some more, before Padarex's paw thumped against his tummy, bouncing slightly off the rubber.



Jensen woke up feeling a little light. No, not light-headed. Light. And there was something poking his neck.

Or what he thought was his neck.

His eyes snapped open to find the toy dinosaur he and Jared had nicknamed "Padarex" (nee Jaredina) snuggled up against his side. Except that Padarex was considerably bigger than he remembered it being - and Padarex was snoring.

Jensen tried to throw up his arms and shout in panic, but ended up making a little squeaky noise and just wriggling in place.

Wriggling. In. Place.

Jensen squeaked some more, before Padarex's paw thumped against his tummy, bouncing slightly off the rubber. "Lie still," Jared said, wheezing only a little, shifting so he was snuffling against the underside of Jensen's very rubbery dinosaur jaw. Or whatever dinosaurs had instead of jaws.

"Jared!" Jensen finally managed. "Jared, wake up!" He pushed at Padarex's head ineffectually with one of his four feet. "Jared!"

"What?" Jared mumbled as Padarex blinked blearily up at Jensen from where he was settled. "Jensen?" He said after a moment. "Why are you a dinosaur?"

Jensen squeaked indignantly, wriggling some more, pushing at Padarex's nose, using both feet with vengeance, each push bouncing off the toy T-Rex's head. "Why am I a dinosaur? You gigantic idiot! Look at your hands. Your feet!" His voice got breathier and squeakier as he went.

Hysterical as he was, he missed the exact moment Jared realised what was happening.

"Holy shit!" Jared shouted, jumping upright, leaving Jensen looking at him from his position on his back. Jared raised both hands - paws…things - and looked at them, eyes widening. "Holy shit! Jensen! You're…Ackleceratops! I'm Padarex!"

Jensen flopped onto the floor in defeat. "Yes, Jared." He rolled around a little, trying to get to his feet. God, why did Jared make it look so easy? He rolled some more, flopping from side to side.

"RAWR!" Jared shouted, raising both hands and stalking towards Jensen as any T-Rex would. "It's a fallen prey!"

"Jared!" Jensen shrieked indignantly, trying to roll the right way up and get his four feet under him. "Jared, that's not funny!"

"RAWR!" Jared shouted again, thumping towards him, baring all his little toy teeth. "RAWR!"

Jensen squeaked and struggled hard, feet waving all over the place. "Jared!"

Then Padarex pounced, pinning him down - and nipped at his beak (oh God) and then his little horn lightly. "Just playin'," Jared said with a sly grin. "Here, let me help you there, squeaky."

Jared's little hands finally managed to get Jensen rolled over the right way around. "Don't think I can't hear you sniggering," Jensen huffed, padding in place, testing out his balance, trying to find a way to squeak less. He turned slightly, watching as he lifted his tail and let it thump back down again.

And letting out a small little growl when Jared's two sneaky hands grabbed his tail and tugged. "Jared!" He went sliding backwards amidst Jared's cackling.

Jensen glared, turning around fully, shaking his tail from Jared's grasp, then backed up a little. He shuffled his feet in the carpet before charging at Jared, bouncing slightly off his tummy with a determined roar. Jared let out a soft oof before recovering, laughing a little and chasing after Jensen as he backed away.

He grabbed Jensen by both horns and pulled him in, hugging him by locking his arms around the boney frill and snuggling Jensen close. "You're so cute."

Jensen stamped his feet, huffing loudly and trying to wriggle free.

Jared finally let him go, leaning down to rub his nose against Jensen's softly in apology, using his hand to turn Jensen back to face him when he tried to get away, embarrassed and angry. He rubbed a little harder, nudging and looking at Jensen with those big eyes that hadn't at all. The effect on Jensen also hadn't changed one bit.

Jensen let it go. He lifted his head a little, let his nose rub against Jared's, nuzzling back lightly.

Jared's eyes darkened - and Jensen was pretty sure they were about to find out whether it was anatomically possible for a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Triceratops to start mating cross-species. But the doorbell rang.

And then there was the sound of keys turning.

Dogs barking.

"Oh shit," Jared breathed, voicing exactly what Jensen was thinking. "Sadie and Harley."

They both made a mad scramble to get away but, considering they weren't exactly used to being toy dinosaurs and they were kind of tangled awkwardly together, all they managed to do was land in a heap just as Harley came charging through the door, barking loudly.

"Jensen? Jared?" Peggy's voice came through, followed by a pair of shoes, stopping about three meters from where they were piled. Sadie followed at a more sedate pace, looking around curiously.

Jensen kept as still as he could, aware that Jared was doing exactly the same. Except the breathing. And then the muffled giggling.

"Jared!" Jensen hissed softly.

"I can't…." He giggled a little more. "Harley, no! Stop it. Hey…Harley!"

Jensen looked back over to Sadie with trepidation to find that, yes, she was moving towards them too, tail wagging at the speed of twenty-thousand wags a minute, ears perked up happily. She stuck her nose into the little pile that he and Jared made, tongue everywhere.

"Ew! Sadie, no! Bad girl!"

"Where are they?" Peggy said, looking around, and…no.

Oh no.

"Sadie, no! Bad girl! Leave!" Jensen squeaked futilely as she closed her jaws around him and, tail still wagging, jogged over to offer him up to Peggy. He squeezed his eyes shut as he was transferred from Sadie's mouth to Peggy's hand.

And then tossed into the toy box. He barely managed to clamp down on his scream.

He curled a little in on himself, listening to the sounds of things happening outside the cardboard box he was now lying in. He stared up at the top of the box, rolling a little to try to get himself the right way up again but to no avail. He let out a soft, annoyed squeak, gritting his teeth and trying harder, rolling from side to side - but the box was too small, and he just wasn't used to this body enough for it to have much effect.

He glanced back up at the top when he finally heard the door click shut and the dogs settle down - and smiled when Padarex's fingers, then a head, popped up over the edge.

"Hi," Jared said, and the smile was all Jared and no T-Rex at all.

"Hi," Jensen answered tiredly, reaching up for Jared with one little foot.

"Two seconds," Jared promised, head disappearing again before the entire box rocked again - and again - and then tipped right over. And then Jared was there, carefully turning him right way over and cuddling up against him. "You okay?"

Jensen nodded, leaning a little against Jared and nuzzling against his tummy, nipping softly and letting the little huff of Jared's laughter calm him down. He glanced up, smiled at Jared, before shuffling forwards carefully, poking his head around the corner of the box to try to locate the dogs.

Jared shifted behind him, glancing out and around the living room as well. "Looks clear to me."

"Did you see where she put them?" Jensen asked, carefully edging from the safety of the toy box.

"Kitchen…?" Jared suggested, shuffling out after him, still looking for any sign of the dogs. And then Jensen heard it.

The little clip of Sadie's paws on the ground.

Right behind him.

He turned, eyes widening when he spotted the two panting, tail-wagging pups. "Behind you!" He shouted to Jared. "Jared, run!"

They took off, turning and dodging, ducking under the coffee table, rounding the legs of the chairs, sliding under the sofa, doubling back on themselves whenever the dogs caught up with them. Jensen tried not to think about how utterly ridiculous this was because if he thought on it too hard, he might choke on his own squeaky thing.

They finally slid in behind Jared's DVD collection, peeking out from behind Rambo to check that the dogs were still looking in the other direction, before flopping down against the wall.

"This is ins - ow!" Jensen turned to look at Jared, eyes narrowed. Jared looked back at him with big eyes, trying his best to look innocent - with Jensen's tail in his mouth. "Jared!

"I can't help it!" Jared said through his mouthful, biting down again. Jensen squeaked.

"Jared!"

"Sorry!"

Jensen glared a little, tugging forwards even as Jared held on. "Let go of my tail!" He glared a little harder when Jared gave one final, wistful-hopeful tug, before Jared let go of Jensen's tail, head dropping a little in shame. Jensen huffed and curled it a little closer to himself protectively.

"You're not supposed to try to eat me, Jared."

"I know!" Jared said indignantly. "I just…I can't help it! I have urges!"

"Well, control them!" Jensen snapped back, using his tail to scratch his nose before peeking out from behind their cover again. He ignored Jared's pouty silence behind him.

And he also ignored the "you don't say that usually," that also followed. Because he was a toy dinosaur, damn it, and getting aroused by a dirty talking T-Rex was just wrong however you thought about it.

The dogs circled back around and Jensen pressed back against Jared, letting Jared wind his small arms around his neck again, relaxing a little as Jared nuzzled against his neck behind his frill again. The managed to settle back down on the floor, curled up against each other.

"No biting," Jensen mumbled, tail curling around Jared's body to keep Jared close to him. Jared nipped him playfully, making his squeak and turn to glare. Jared grinned shyly back at him, resting his head on Ackleceratops' nose lightly.

"I'll be good," he promised.

Jensen gave him another stern look, earning himself a soft lick. He smiled, tipped his head a little to rub against Jared, before settling his head down on the floor and closing his eyes. There was obviously nothing they could do about it and going out there was completely dangerous, considering the dogs were still rummaging around the house looking for the two of them. He might as well get some rest while he could.

And maybe when he woke up, it'd all have just been some bizarre nightmare.

He felt little teeth sink into his back, heard himself squeak. "Jared…."

"Sorry!"

Squeak.

"Stop chewing!"

"Sorry!"